I believe that at the moment of death we don’t regret the things we’ve done as much as the things we never allowed ourselves to do.
“Destiny and fate fly in on the wings of mystery without the curtesy of an advanced notice.”
Our lives are like seeds scattered across the plains of existence carried by the mystical winds of ambiguity not the certainty we continuously grasp for. I think the delicate art of survival is about finding a belief that accommodates this reality as opposed to denying it.
The daisy pictured above didn’t say “Shit, stones. Why bother to bloom.” Instead it saw the earth below the stones. My life for the last 20 years of living in the wilderness has been dominated by nature and the wisdom I’ve gleaned from observing it without civilized distractions keeps me in a state of wonderment.
As a retired medical engineer I specialized in pediatric neural-muscular conditions. Over the years I had the pleasure to meet some very courageous human spirits who were born with or contracted serious conditions that left them trapped in uncooperative bodies and yet like the daisy they bloomed into remarkable human beings. To be able to make their lives more functional and comfortable was the greatest of gifts.
We are bombarded with a multiplicity of phenomena that’s never ending. I believe there are no definitive quantifiers or qualifiers to be found so I free myself from the looking because it removes me from our natural place in the oneness of participation.
I traded seagulls and the ocean for ravens and the high desert sky
I traded people and the city for the life of a recluse in the wilderness
It took three years of wandering in the hills of introspection to wash away a lifetime of fears
Almost half a century held captive by fear
It took another three years to trade anger for compassion, sorrow for joy and the intellect for the intuitive
And it took another three years to end reification and set myself free from me.
Nine years facing the wall of solitude.
Because I knew if I didn’t take the time I’d forfeit the rhythm in simply being.
I used to live my life confined by a conditioned mind and traveled in linear sequential time wreaking havoc with my preconceived convictions.
The impasse to joyous spiritual awakening.
The conditioned mind is an undisciplined mind narrowly fixed on its self generated thoughts hysterically racing you back and forth from one mundane thought to another.
It robs you of your vitality and renders your spirit into a hungry ghost frantically searching for what you already have but can no longer find or take solace in.
Restore the original Celestrial mind with its open emptiness so when the demons of negative thoughts try and enter, it will be like thieves entering an empty house.
When we quite our mind and open our heart, the joy of living spontaneously unfolds.
In spite of catastrophic weather and other events of nature that threatens humanity some world leaders continue to act like children. Playing with their toys of destruction in a house that’s burning to the ground.
There is a totality that’s so complete, it goes beyond conventional existence.
It would not be seen if found, nor felt if touched. If you were to stand in the middle of it you wouldn’t know it. If it roared past you there would be no sound or the hint of a breeze.
It is beyond thought and so it can’t be pondered by conventional mind or verbalized with voice.
It can only be known through it’s intention and so it goes beyond conscious concern.
Intention is the fluidity in mystical movement and we are but a drop in it’s ocean.
Become the intention
When I first plunged into the mystical waters of prolonged solitude.
I met my insignificant self.
You could hear my joyful laughter for millenniums.